the Bionic Genius Roundtable

Well twist my mustache and tickle my ivories!  The Bionic Genii are back!?

Don’t get your sock garters in a bunch…  Like when David Lee Roth hooked-up again with the VanHalens, this is an experiment to see if the band can still play after all these months of disdain and what-what.

Join the genii in this most festive of occasions.  We ate, we drank and Roy played Mary in the BGR Christmas pageant.
We apologize in advance, as the only thing PC in this show is the title. 

We also welcome to the show a noob named Mike, who’s learning the ropes of what it’s like to be a genius.  Mike is a music freak who’s more excited than the rest of us to sit at the roundtable.  If you don’t like the show, it’s Mike’s fault.

So we’ve decided to hold the baby under the water until it stopped kicking.

We might be developing some new shows, but for now… just let it be.

To mark this weekend in history as the anniversary of the show’s launching, here’s a special redux version of our first show, THE 2005 THANKSGIVING SPECIAL.

the 2005 Bionic Genius Roundtable Live Thanksgiving Show!
In this episode, the geniuses broadcast in full Pilgrim dress, out in the woods of Plymouth {Indiana}, complete with blunderbusses. Jed joins us this week as our intern. Listen as the geniuses hope to shoot and eat a turkey before the show ends.

in episode 0000038:

So we finally made it back!  In this episode, we finally swore-off skits!!!  Like Terry will ever give-up the skits!?

Over lunch we talked about the usual: what we were eating, wearing, watching, listening to and morning over.

If you think there’s a Star Wars element to this episode, then you’re just wishful thinking.

So after the dust cleared from Alan’s departure, our legal department is allowing us to return to the roundtable on one condition:

No more skits.

As the genii we are, we’re always looking for loopholes. So we offer you the latest podcast installment, episode 0000037.5.

We’ll be back at the roundtable before you can figure-out the following riddle:

what is round but square, what is hot but cold, what is fast but slow, what is dark but light, what is living but dead, what is hungry yet full, what is wet but dry, never sleeps but has not waken?

So we’ve caved under the pressures of the man.

We’ve brought banner ads to the site.
Keep scrollin’, keep scrollin’… there they are!

We’ve tried to offer something for everyone. I’m only guessing here, but I’m going to display what are bound to be the staff favorites. Ready?

Alan:

Roy:

Terry:

So click long & click hard. Do it for the good of all genii. Genii, not Jedi! Sheesh!

holy cow! where have you been??!

This one’s been sitting around for weeks gathering dust. There’s probably even some dated jokes here about Y2K, failed space shuttle missions and the Nixon administration, but that’s no different than any other show, so you’ll dig it as usual.

Roy and I thought this would definitely be the last installment, but Terry’s grasping at straws, trying to make this work. You’ll need to stay-tuned to the site for upcoming announcements on such things.

This was the last show with the old Alan, prior to developing ADOT {Adult Onset Tourette’s Syndrome} and leaving work.

This is a freakin’ packed show!

We discuss what we’re having for lunch, the live plea for feedback at Nobody Likes Onions, failed attempt at a call to Sirius Network’s Psychic show, another call to Teen Sensation’s Mom who schools us on dope slang, another installment of As The Corn Blows, Episode 2 - The Tie Break {The Genius Wars Sequel - Count Duke’em with Roy & Steve}, Maintenance department takes the roundtable, we share our favorite memories, Alan lies big-time the Sirius phone screener, Roy clocks-out as Terry and Alan riff - hoping the batteries will fail.

Where are they now???
– Alan is now at his new job, with a window, a door and restroom only steps away. The new boss is informed of the ADOT, so he’s also meeting-free for the life of that job. It’s an I.T. gig, so there’s no chance of stability.
– Terry and Roy are back at the same-old daily grind, working with a buncha coughing psychos.

Not only is the audience threatened with only one last broadcast, but we’re also having some technical issues on the site. Sorry so stripped! It must be Karma setting-in.

So yah, the episode titled “THE LAST BROADCAST…MAYBE” will go live shortly, so stay-tuned for that and hopefully more

This week Alan announces that he’s leaving work, which likely means the show will suffer from a hiatus hernia.

We fail at several attempts to call someone who cares: Josh the Intern, Indiana Buddhist Temple, and Indiana’s top terrorist target: Amish Country Popcorn. Yes, popcorn {see Indystar.com}.

Thanks to Erin for this grande Jon Stewart link on youtube, discussing Indiana Terror Targets.

This week we speak with Rockin’ Ronnie Shewchuck, BBQ expert from Canada. Ronnie shows us that Canadians are almost good for something.

We have sad news…

Alan is leaving work, which means that he’s leaving the show, or rather — the current set-up of recording over lunch at work. Make sense?

So, if prodded, we can continue the show using a different technology, like voice over IP {Skype}, morse code or carrier pigeon.

Your voice can make a difference. Should we stay or should we go?

[viewsurvey]

This week we speak with Skip Haynes from the Laurel Canyon Animal Company, Makers of Pet CD’s guaranteed to get a reaction from your dog. We even play a few of these songs on the show, so get some headphones for your pooch!
Note: tBGR’s dog’s reactions were greatly improved with Beggin’ Strips, Carl Buddig meat & soy hotdogs. Another Note: After further LAB TESTING, {ha!} Terry’s dog Star Morgan was most-intrigued by the Bionic Genius opening theme.

in episode 0000034…

- What Does a Genius Eat for Lunch?

- Less Llamas, More Luke: Teen Sensation Luke reports about his weak blue ring.
Alan’s High School tip: During your senior year of High School, when they pass-out the Herff-Jones cards for you to list your activities, stack the lies high & wide. They’ll print them in the yearbook.

- Genius Wars: The game show pit-fight Star Wars trivia contest featuring Roy -vs- Steve W. footnote: What happened to the cat’s ashes?

- As the Corn Blows - Terry drags us into another tBGR Soap Opera

- Special Interview with Skip Haynes from the Laurel Canyon Animal Company - Makers of Pet CD’s. Located in Los Angeles, the company is dedicated to creating original musical works inspired by the relationships between animals and people-and to raising the awareness of people as to the sentience of all animals.

This week we speak with Dr. Robby Virus, genius Thereminist.

Episode 0000033 features:

As a change of scope, we actually talk about what we’re eating for lunch.

We also hear from Alan on a spam-jelly-preserved issue of Alan’s World.

Can you believe we’re serving-up two premieres? This Week in Medicine and North America’s fastest-growing soap opera sensation, AS THE CORN BLOWS.

Oh, we also interview the tragically hip theremin player for Project Pimento: Dr. Robby Virus. Check-out Project Pimento at www.projectpimento.com

A special shout-out to the visitors of ThereminWorld.com, to whom we offer-up the following ideas for bumper stickers: “HAVE YOU HUGGED YOUR THEREMIN TODAY?” and “STOP TOUCHING ME!”

This week we speak with Greg Mortenson, an American on a mission, fighting terrorism one school at a time.

The former mountaineer heads up the Central Asia Institute, which has built more than 50 secular schools for girls and boys in Afghanistan and Pakistan.

Mortenson’s passion-some might say obsession-to bring education to the children of these countries started when residents of a small Pakistani village nursed him back to health after a failed attempt to climb K2, perhaps the world’s toughest mountain. Mortenson discusses his efforts, and his book “Three Cups of Tea”. Visit www.ThreeCupsofTea.com

Episode 32 also features the Universe’s favorite segment, “What Does a Genius Eat for Lunch.” and we help Terry cull-down his CD collection.
Tiger Beat teen sensation Luke was cut from this show, and will not return until he obtains his work permit. The audio from Luke’s interview can be found in the Bionic Genius Roundtable AV Closet.

Finally! Pictures of Luke released:

This week we speak with author Paul Malmont. Simon and Schuster thought this might actually help his career.

Episode 0000031 sweet goodness:

Malmont discusses his new book, “Chinatown Death Cloud Peril”. This show also features “Less Llamas and More Luke,” with teen sensation Luke, the Universe’s favorite segment, “What Does a Genius Eat for Lunch,” and yet another agonizing quiz sensation, “Pulp or Punch”.

Visit Paul’s website: www.paulmalmont.com

This week we scat with jazz legend Bob Dorough, who was the composer and the voice of many of the Schoolhouse Rock episodes that tucked you into bed.

In Educatiomul Episode 0000030:

- How to discipline a genius “before there was Time-Out”: an impromptu roundtable discussion

- What does a genius eat for lunch?

- Less Llamas, More Luke: teen sensation/correspondent Luke helps mold the show for the younger set.

- Special Interview: Bob Dorough, genius musician, shares what it was like to record most of the Schoolhouse Rock episodes we know and love. Bob also tells us about playing with jazz greats Miles Davis and Blossom Dearie and more!

- Bionic Genius Rock - our choices of the next great Schoolhouse episodes.

This week we talk with Jeff Crone and Terry Coffey about a great indie film project called Small Town Scenario.

Episode 0000028 Features:

- What Does a Genius Eat for Lunch?

- In line at the movies

- Special Interview: Jeff Crone in Hollywood - Jeff talks about the indie film project called Small Town Scenario. Visit the project’s web site at www.reelpie.com

- Gameshow: The Universes Fastest-Growing Quiz Sensation, Lohan or Duff

This week we lace-up our running shoes and pull a hami with legendary Ultramarathon Man Dean Karnazes.

Episode 0000027 Milestones:

- What Does a Genius Eat for Lunch?

- Impromptu “Will it Whistle?”

- Inaugural “Ask a Genius” This week we answer listener voicemail: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Special thanks to Turtle & Mr. Owl.

- Roy’s World: Calling for the redesign of man’s biological reproductive system.

- Special Interview: Dean Karnazes, Ultramarathon Man.
Visit the Ultramarathon Man web site to read more about Dean’s achievements.

- Gameshow: “Running Nowhere”

Call us to leave a message: 206-NOODLE-6
Send us an email: roundtable at bionicgenius dot com

This week we saddle-up, hit the trail, gather round the campfire and chew the fat with poet Baxter Black.

Episode 0000026 Features:

- What Does a Genius Eat for Lunch?

- Terry’s Car trouble - Serves him right. No cowboy should drive a VW.

- The Missing Ventriloquist Act - Soon you will have the chance to bid on this missing piece of audio. Thats right: we will be auctioning-off the clip of Terry & Willie Talk to one lucky bidder. Stick around for details.

Special Interview: Baxter Black, Cowboy Poet. Visit Baxter online: www.baxterblack.com

- Game Show: Tied Up In Knots - The Genii wrangle Baxter into a right spiffy gameshow.

In this episode, the genii speak with Warren Zanes from the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame. Warren also joins us as we play the fastest-growing quiz sensation: Cult or Rock Band!

Episode 0000025 Features:

- Welcome Back Roy!

- Check the Phone Messages

- What Does a Genius Eat for Lunch?

- Chasing Jon Stewart-FINALLY! We land the interview with Jon Stewart

- Special Interview: Warren Zanes talks about life as VP of Education and Public Programs at The Rock-N-Roll Hall of Fame, his current career as a musician and his past life as rock god with The Del Fuegos. Visit his web site: www.warren-zanes.com

- The fastest growing quiz sensation: Rock and Roll Hall of Famer or Cult

- Billy Collins reads Thesaurus

This week we ask the question: Where’s Roy?
That’s the extent of this one. If you are a new listener to tBGR, we apologize from the bottom of our hearts.

When creating this post, I used the work inane {spelled incorrectly}. I find it particularly amusing that the term PODCAST CHATTER is in the dictionary under the definition for INNANE:

Podcast chatter is an uninteresting monolog put into a podcast due to the podcaster’s mistaken belief that (a) it is necessary to spend a significant amount of time in a podcast talking, and (b) said podcaster has something interesting to say.

We cannot disclose the location of our broadcast facility in Indiana, but we wanted to share some of the photos of our hip facilities.  photos by interns Wes, Klorf and Jafs

We’ve already had several emails asking how we built our TIME MACHINE.
Truth be told, we obtained our time machine prototype from Glendy M. at the Benjamin Franklin Science Fair. We convinced her that a stack of Pokemon cards, Roy’s Nano and 10,000 Second Life Lindex credits was a fair trade.

We think her father, Mr. M. helped build the machine, but we won’t tell.

Lastly, we’ve had a busy week of time travel, and are finally catching-up on emails. There have been many requests to tour our facilities here in Indiana. We are proud of our awesome facility, but at this time cannot allow any visitation. Once the insurance cases settle, we would love to have you come stay with us. Until then, we’ve posted several photos.
pictures below by Intern Jafs: Terry in his lab, preparing lunch, while Alan and Roy look on and Roy, the constant gardener, looks with pride on his prize-winning whatever-this-thing-is. More photos here.